a good person

This weekend has brought some questions to my attention. It has been hard to come to terms with myself whether I am a good person or not. I've tried to console myself by thinking about the good things I've done for others, or, ways I've been involved with people that weren't beneficial for me. But, after going through that list I've realized that there are many things people (myself or others) do to show support for their communities, religions, friends, families, and strangers. Although I find comfort in what I've done to be a selfless person, an emptiness is hanging in my soul when I think about the ones I love.


How would you define a good person ?

I learned that my Aunt Teri is in an indescribable state of pain and suffering right now, a state that she has been enduring for years. She has been there for me ever since I took my first steps; always expressing her love in an unconditional manner. Over the past few years she has always made sure to contact me during the holidays, which is something I can't say I've always done in return. Whether it were by sending me a card, writing a letter, or making a phone call, she would always remember to express her love. My Aunt Teri is a good person. She never forgets about the ones she loves. She never complains about her bad fortune and always looks for the brightest picture in even the darkest of places. She has a heart that puts off more warmth than the sun and embraces her loved ones with that warmth. She is unconditional.

I spoke to her yesterday for the first time in months and my heart fell to pieces. I felt like I hadn't done enough to express my love for her. When I started to cry, she was comforting in her words and tried to make me understand that it was okay, that she'd be there always. She's always been this way and that's what I mean when I say her heart puts out more warmth than the sun. We talked about the holidays upcoming and how I couldn't make it home. I told her I was sorry and she took my breath away when she said, "it's okay, I'll blow you a kiss". It was at that moment that I realized I may not ever get another homemade card from my Aunt Teri :( She comforted me and ensured me she'll be here for me, but, I still felt horrible for the person I hadn't been.

Am I a good person?

It's been a hard question for me to think about, I know I have some things to work on....

My Grandma Kats was a good person